How Spirituality Can Help Sexual Assault Survivors Heal

I How Spirituality Can Help Sexual Assault Survivors Heal | ENTITY Mag – Women That Do – Inspire, Educate, Empower
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I have learnt to trust in the people who have shown me nothing but kindness

It has taken a long time and been a terrible journey to eventually reach some peace

I did think at one time all of my illness have been because I thought I deserved


But I now appreciate my mental well being was so badly affected I couldn’t see

What was there in the kindness of friends

My dear Mr A will always be a shelter from life’s cruel games

As will my life long friendships I have been so blessed with

If my future is to be short

So be it

I have found some peace

Thanks dear friends you will never know how much you helped xxxxxx

Brexit Blues

I don’t always pay a great deal of attention to what you say, but having swallowed the pill and having accepted that we’re leaving, are you now campaigning for Remain..because, with respect, you make a great case for that position?

I have to agree with Richard concerning Mr J R Mogg

We now seem to have political Lemmings

Two years ago had a lot to say to the public about leaving our European friends

Strange enough seemed to keep very quiet while Mrs May ( not my fav person) tried to deliver their lied laden let’s take back control rubbish

Awaiting the fall on the sword me thinks

Perhaps one or two fancying a new job

The general public were never given the true facts and to be honest Mr David Cameron should hold most of the responsibility for this sad state of affairs for even going to the country in the first place

How I wish it had never been so

My thoughts are for those youngsters whom were never allowed to vote whose future we may have caused harm to

This all seems like a political game of who jumps first

I hope for those left to pick up the pieces of this disaster forgive those who chose to use racism and right wing views to get The public into a horrible division

MR Mogg am sure like his friends when wanting a leave at even a no deal am sure would not suffer the consequences

Unlike many whose jobs livelihood and community,s would be at stake

Sleep well

Not me my worry for our youth is such that I wish said political (lemmings) I mean men would jump and not take us with them

Artic lemming ( identifying as a vulnerable species) not equipped to defend himself or others !!!!!!

Love is…….

First I apologise if some of this seems jumbled but am on strong meds

Confession I was self harming again

Trying to rid myself of dark dark memories

Am told facing and writing is a kinda therapy so again I apologise

Love is Learning to accept the love and kindness others offer so willingly

Love is ..accepting it and know you deserve it and are worth receiving it

Love is ..unconditional

Love is those who go the extra mile to make others happy

Love is..a tender touch just to let you know that someone cares

Love is doing something with only a thought to bring joy to others in times of need

Love is ..Friends you may never have met in person but they fill your heart with joy and you would miss their presence if they weren’t around

Love is giving of yourself to those whom you care about being selfless even when you can’t face the world

Love is forgiving those who may have caused your pain and suffering

Love is .. the child who grows into a careing wonderful human and becomes the reason your existing so you can see how far they’ve grown

Last of all

Love is trying to forgive yourself and believing you deserve to exist

My dedication of this blog goes to Stephanie Boaz carr who has such a full kind heart she went to a lot of trouble to bring joy into my dark world

And to Guilty pleasure. who went to so much time and trouble delivering and making that joy possible on Stephanie’s request

To Terri Stephens who sent a most beautiful heartfelt gift for which I will treasure as the words on said gift are so true

To Friends that have past and present always gone to such trouble and been so kind in words and deeds I only hope one day I will be around to return the kindness

Because I want to not because I have to

I sorry am so tired but I had to say on this day I love you so much words really can’t express how much

May your day be filled with the joy and live you all deserve

My daughter recorded my favourite song to play to help my nights

“There’s a place for us

Somewhere a place for us

Hold my hand and I’ll take you there ;

That beautiful Barbra Streisand I really think it maybe true

Happy Heart day loved ones thank you most sincerely and goodnight xx

Shitcreek …surviving

Thankyou firstly to Cairns councillor I can never repay what you have done

This is me

And I’m losing the shame slowly associating the fourteen year old who thought she was to blame

The journey has just begun again a path I didn’t want to go on

But it seems it was always with me what occurred after was always a distraction

The hardest thing coming to terms with the father I adored and who loved me so much couldn’t keep me safe

Not really his fault perhaps not equipped to be a parent

It’s taken forty odd years to come face to face with a hard fact that I wasn’t ment to be a plus one at social events or stand in wife when his latest girlfriend let him down

I was 14 too old before my time introduced to people inadvertently I should never have been in contact with

I was the parent in our relationship

My father was weak but adored me but blind to the fact of dangerous situations I found myself in

But did what I was bid through fear and being so easily trying to please those adult men I thought gave a shit about me

Craving protection and care and believing at 14 a knight on a white charger would come to the rescue

He Never Came !

I feel disloyal to a father I would have done anything for to help his own distress

Now I know that wasn’t my job

I cared for those around me like I was mum not a child that should have had a child’s life instead of what happened

And all these years I knew it was my fault

I didn’t think self harming at 14 was wrong I knew it was something I could control the pain it brought was a real comfort instead of the disgusting feeling I had every time I was now know tricked into things that no one at that age should know

Up to last week self harming has been a escape but I have no space left and explaining every time I have a examination is too hard

But I know each part is like a map I know where I was when the time the place

My daily reminder of my life

Some may say you reap what you see

Perhaps my punishment is the pieces of what is left I have to pick up and be grateful

But one woman who for confidentiality I cannot name broke through that barrier on Wednesday

I fought every step and I’m so tired but facing up it wasn’t my responsibility for the adult men that invaded my childhood I wasn’t a woman as I had to learn to be

I was a child in women’s clothing pretending that I was invisible to those who didn’t matter and there for those who did

In some respect I have reaped what they sewn

In the seventies you didn’t hear of such treatment I thought as I was told

You are so lovely and such a kind heart oh and you don’t look your age oh and let me look after you it’s ok

Your father is going to let me take you home your safe with me

Wrong Wrong bloody wrong

My wonderful dad was let’s say suffering his own demons and didn’t for one min think anyone would hurt or take advantage Wrong Wrong Wrong

I now have to rethink my whole being

Why was I put on this earth to be a plaything for those who thought it was ok

I have wanted to die a thousand times to end this eternal misery

But still am here waiting

Perhaps their is a reason for keeping me from leaving this planet

Perhaps that one person who recognised that I just wanted someone to give a dam

I wanted a knight in armour

Not a tormenter

At my age I know this is my lot

But for once I feel some peace I hope those who chose to find satisfaction in a young child I wonder if they sleep at night or have recurring nightmares

I wonder if they had daughters

Am so sorry this seems rather depressing but it helps to put down instead of tearing at skin

If their is one thing i know i have laid to rest some demons now it’s out their dirty secret can’t hurt anymore

And my dear dad I still loved you and thank goodness you never knew all of it

I did one good thing I protected my family

Perhaps now I may find some rest

Perhaps now their may be a understanding of why 20 yrs of following Richard Armitage has been my safe place.

A man I don’t have to fear and can have no repercussions from

I know some will think at my age it’s a bit strange but

It’s safe and he doesn’t see the scars or the pathetic illness that has dogged me

I will always be loyal forever

If only life was a bit fairer

Cairns Councils work on a voluntary basis and need donations to keep going

There are so many on the waiting list that breaks my heart

Am sure there are many like this up and down the UK

Where treatment is free if you’re

Lucky to get a place

I hope I will repay them when my time comes so they can help others like me

Who couldn’t see any reason for carrying on

Being taught that even in the darkest hour their is a lightCairns Counselling

Cairns Counselling

I love this so much not sure of the artist but it’s a comfort my wee black cat with the galaxy

MR ARMITAGE BIG THANKYOU For being a safe option

You know I want you

It’s not a secret I try to hide
I know you want me
So don’t keep saying our hands are tied
You claim it’s not in the cards
Fate is pulling you miles away
And out of reach from me
But you’re here in my heart
So who can stop me if I decide
That you’re my destiny?

What if we rewrite the stars?
Say you were made to be mine
Nothing could keep us apart
You’d be the one I was meant to find
It’s up to you, and it’s up to me
No one can say what we get to be
So why don’t we rewrite the stars?
Maybe the world could be ours
You think it’s easy
You think I don’t want to run to you
But there are mountains
And there are doors that we can’t walk through
I know you’re wondering why
Because we’re able to be
Just you and me
Within these walls
But when we go outside
You’re going to wake up and see that it was hopeless after all
No one can rewrite the stars
How can you say you’ll be mine?
Everything keeps us apart
And I’m not the one you were meant to find
It’s not up to you
It’s not up to me
When everyone tells us what we can be
How can we rewrite the stars?
Say that the world can be ours
All I want is to fly with you
All I want is to fall with you
So just give me all of you
It feels impossible (it’s not impossible)
Is it impossible?
Say that it’s possible
How do we rewrite the stars?
Say you were made to be mine?
Nothing can keep us apart
‘Cause you are the one I was meant to find
It’s up to you
And it’s up to me
No one can say what we get to be
And why don’t we rewrite the stars?
Changing the world to be ours
You know I want you
It’s not a secret I try to hide
But I can’t have you
We’re bound to break and my hands are tied
Songwriters: Benj Pasek / Justin Paul

The Tattooist of Auschwitz

A Novel About the Death Camps, Brought to Vivid Life in Audio
Richard Armitage

Richard Armitage

By Heather Morris
Read by Richard Armitage
7 hours, 25 minutes. HarperAudio

Listening to this novel on my iPhone during the past week — while clutching a subway strap, trotting on a treadmill, filling my basket at Trader Joe’s, biking down Amsterdam Avenue, walking my dog around the Harlem Meer — I began to notice how many other people in the city wear headphones as they go about their daily lives. Having recently moved back into New York City from the suburbs, where I mostly listened to audiobooks in my car, I was struck by how different it is listening to a book on headphones while doing other things. On the one hand it’s a peculiarly intimate experience; the narrator speaks directly into your ear, as if to you alone. On the other hand, it can be hard to concentrate on the story, particularly if it’s nonlinear or experimental.

“The Tattooist of Auschwitz” is neither of these. If I hadn’t read that Heather Morris originally wrote this novel as a screenplay, I might’ve guessed: The story clips along without extraneous exposition, and the dialogue is snappy and convincing. As a reader, I’m usually drawn to dense wordplay and complicated perspectives. But as a multitasking listener, I found the straightforward, chronological narrative easy and pleasurable to follow.

Based on the author’s interviews with a Jewish Holocaust survivor, “The Tattooist of Auschwitz” is the story of Lale Sokolov, Prisoner 32407, who was transported from Slovakia to the Auschwitz concentration camp in Birkenau, Poland, in 1942 and assigned the task of tattooing numbers on his fellow prisoners’ arms. As a Tätowierer, Lale was in a privileged but morally compromised position, “performing an act of defilement on people of his own faith,” as the narrator notes. Unlike most prisoners, Lale had agency. He was given his own room, fed extra rations and allowed freedoms most prisoners were denied, like traversing the camp alone and visiting both male and female barracks.

In Morris’s telling, Lale is shrewd, charming and self-aware. The moment he enters the gates, he vows he will leave the camp alive; he notes the Nazis’ habits and routines, looking for any signs of weakness. He speaks seven languages: French, Russian, German, Slovak, Yiddish, Hungarian and Polish. This ability is his superpower. Toggling among languages, he serves as a guide, spy and interpreter. He knows what the guards are saying when they don’t realize he’s listening; he speaks Yiddish when he doesn’t want them to understand. He mediates disputes and serves as a translator. Eventually he takes risks to save the lives of other prisoners.

From ‘The Tattooist of Auschwitz’

The audio version of this book is a particularly strong marriage of narrator and material. The British actor Richard Armitage uses an impressive variety of actorly tools as he shifts perspective from Lale to Gita, the Slovakian prisoner Lale falls in love with; Baretski, Lale’s commander; a few other prisoners; and some SS officers, including real-life figures like Rudolf Hess and the notorious Nazi doctor Josef Mengele. Armitage wrings every ounce of feeling, drama and even humor — mostly at the expense of the dimwitted Baretski — from this earnest story. He skillfully conveys the cruel, mocking tone that the SS officers and guards often used with prisoners as a way of reinforcing their power. Even when he isn’t portraying a specific character, Armitage keeps the listener engaged and alert by modulating his tone, sometimes within individual sentences. At times it seems as if there are two narrators, so often, and ably, does Armitage vary his delivery.

The relationship between Lale and Gita, with its progression from love at first sight to giddy infatuation to deep commitment, sometimes strains credulity. It’s hard to imagine that malnourished prisoners with lesions and shaved heads might have had the autonomy, impulse and ability to carry on a torrid love affair. Apparently, they did — in real life, Lale and Gita ended up together. But the language of romance can seem jarringly out of place when contrasted with the starvation, mutilation and murder of thousands around them.

The author heads off this criticism by having the characters raise this question themselves. “Is it wrong of me to want to escape reality for a bit?” Gita asks her friends. No, it isn’t. And to be fair, Morris works hard to convey the devastating reality of daily life in a concentration camp. Her compassion for her characters, combined with Armitage’s riveting delivery, makes this an immensely satisfying book to listen to, whatever else you might happen to be doing.

Must congratulate as always Richard delivered a performance

Had it been on film would have deserved a Oscar

Has been such an experience listening

Will never forget

A love story that deserve s to be heard

Richard back on UK TV

Bit late but Thursday night has just got better Channel 4 ( more 4 ) is showing Berlin Station Season 1

About time UK got Richard Armitage back on our small screen

He has been sadly missed especially by me

It has been great was able to watch season 1&2 on line but was gutted that those who didn’t have access were missing a brilliant series

I do hope Richard you don’t forget us here

I appreciate you have to follow your work and sadly the UK has in a way not given you the credit or respect you deserve

You may be able to tell it’s my black day rant

Specially when on Thursday at the same time 9 pm ITV has chosen to show DARKHEART with Tom Riley

May be me but very Richard lookalike

Very good and can watch on catchup a very hard hitting detective series

But seems a trifle coincidental both series started at the same time

Well paranoia on my part but I miss my Richard

Feel it could have been advertised with more Gusto( Berlin Station)

But at least it’s pulling in great viewing figures

Shame ITV couldn’t have found their main channel to show or perhaps money as always is a issue

Well Rant over so glad your back Richard and ok Tom Riley is good but not AS GOOD

Only my personal opinion (criticism not intended)

lookalike perhaps a wee bit but still prefer our Richard as my personal choice to watch

TOM RILEY (Dark heart) very Good watch just not when Berlin Stations on (No offence intended)

your thoughts Dark Heart trailer

Rocket man

Thanks to my daughter got to see my chance to see at last what I always wanted

My forty year love of my Hero on screen

No holds

As a teenager my vivid memory of watching him live in 75 at the Bristol Hippodrome four rows from the stage

Drunk as. Skunk but he never missed a lyric in fact the concert was one I will never forget

We knew as fans he had problems

Not if his making

Britain was not so liberal and same sex was taboo but we knew didn’t care loved him for him and prayed he would last his journey

This movie is no holds barred

Makes you smile but makes you cry big time

Taron has done a brilliant portrayal as have the rest

Deserves a Oscar

If the film proves anything it shows the adversity and yes we can overcome

thankgod for friendships Bernie and Elton forty years friendship never a argument

Yes sometimes took a break from each other

Now that’s friendship

Congrats to Jamie Bell as Bernie Taupin

And Richard Madden playing John Reid

What A trio well done

The belated RA updates

Netflix has announced that it will adapt Harlan Coben’s novel The Stranger into an eight-part series, starring The Hobbit’s Richard Armitage. Armitage will lead the upcoming psychological thriller – and given that the British actor is no, umm, stranger to nail-biting TV …mysteries, famously playing MI5 agent Lucas North in BBC1’s Spooks, it sounds like pretty perfect casting.

The series will see Armitage take on the lead role of Adam Price, a man whose life comes crashing down around him after a shock revelation.

Who stars in Netflix’s The Stranger?

Richard Armitage will play the lead character, Adam Price. On his casting, Armitage said, “I could barely contain my excitement reading Harlan Coben’s The Stranger; a nail biting thriller with a huge beating heart and a dash of social commentary for extra bite.”

Happy Valley‘s Siobhan Finneran will star as copper DS Johanna Griffin and Ant Man and The Wasp villain Hannah John-Kamen is playing the titular mysterious stranger who exposes people’s secrets.

Absolutely Fabulous actress Jennifer Saunders will also appear as Heidi, Johanna’s closest friend who is seeking adventure after her daughter leaves for university.

Broadchurch’s Shaun Dooley, Game of Thrones’ Paul Kaye, Strike Back’s Dervla Kirwan Black Mirror’s Kadiff Kirwan, Buffy The Vampire Slayer’s Anthony Head and The Crying Game’s Stephen Rea round off the cast.

What’s The Stranger about?

Based on Harlan Coben’s novel of the same name, the series will follow Adam Price, who seems to be living the perfect life — two great sons, a watertight marriage — until a stranger approaches him at a bar and reveals a shocking secret about Price’s wife, Corinne.

As Price delves into Corinne’s deception, he soon realises that he’s become entangled in a dark conspiracy that could risk the lives of those around him.

Coben said, “The Stranger was one of my most challenging novels — and definitely the most twisted.  When I wrote it, I never imagined that I’d be part of a ‘Dream Team’ of extraordinary talent bringing it to life. I can’t wait to reunite with Danny, Nicola, and Netflix on this remarkable project.”


D Day Remembrance to our unknown soldier

So many lives lost

So many deaths changed lives

We live because of your sacrifice

I don’t know your name or where you came from

But we treasure our freedom

Because of you

My heart aches not only with sadness but with pride and gratitude

I don’t know where your home was

I don’t know your uniform

But your courage I do know

Your spirit exists in each and everyone

We value our Freedom

We value our right to speak out with out fear

We give our gratitude

But most of all

We will never forget you

Am not a poet but say only what is deep within my heart

But for you I hope you rest in peace

You gave your all

No one could give anymore then you did

You paid the ultimate price

We may not always stop and think

But deep down with our fine younger generation

Your memory will always live on

Goodnight and god bless you

Many Thanks for my birthday greetings

Am writing on behalf of my mum

Am strict instructions what to say and include

Sorry to say she is in a lot of pain and has been trying to thank everyone but it’s been hard

So am copying her words and hope you forgive the late thanks 🙏

To my wonderful friends on social media

Some I have known a long time

Others not so long

My goodness words are hard to come by when such kindness and thoughtful messages are sent

Specially when you all have busy lives and things going on in your lives

Thankyou seems not enough but it’s heartfelt and so true their will never be friends like you

Dear Stephanie I so loved my gift and yes it has given me memories of a great night out at Glasgow

I can forgive those who sought a free programme hope it made their night

I didn’t need it when I have friends like you

Yes my gift fits and love you for your kindness

Dear Matt Khal always so kind and thoughtful happy Tuesday and again bless you

For my dear friends I can only hope to be able to be in touch soon but I send much love to you all xxx

Normal service I hope will be resumed soon

Typing on behalf of mum

Today mum had a heart scare we had been away to Glasgow for the best show ever and had the best time together

Unfortunately unbeknown while organising a lift back to our hotel

Some kind soul decided to swipe mums program from under her arm

Very brave considering she has two sticks

I was told by mum she had dropped it but a couple in a taxi told me two young girls had so say approached looking for a taxi

Am not saying that has any inmpact on what happened to day

And I feel perhaps it may have been a trip too far

But for now posting this is easier then going to all her sights

Seems the sack that holds the heart has become inflamed don’t ask me to spell correct term

She is very scared very emotional and has to be completely rested and calm

Gutted that I can’t find away to purchase another program to make her happy

To some it may have been the cost for her it was the fact that was her wee bit of pleasure

Thank good I took some photos and shoe video

Not to spoil others enjoyment but to pre long hers

Suffice to say posting will be stoped until things become better

To those who decided their need was greater then my mums hope you made yourself a profit on the item your need must have been great !

By the way am very good at sarcasm

Goodnight and hope others enjoy what was the best show ever loved seeing her so happy thanks again to staff who made it possible x

Make or break time

Tomorrow is a big day

May be a new beginning or the old one carry’s on

Have to admit am scared of what the future holds

Everything has been building up to this day

So forgive my indulgence this is my safe place I come to when I need to vent or to just have time to breathe

This has been my safe haven where I can pretend everything is how it should be

So a few of my favourites because right now the night is going to be such a long one

I love my friends dearly and hope these old memory’s bring them pleasure as they have for me

And Mr Armitage I wish I could have told you for real what joy you have brought me in good times and bad

I appreciate its your job and your path has taken you off into new directions

Truth I miss the way you were on our screens you seemed more accessible you were our homegrown boy who’s done good

Seems such a long time now when I first saw you on TV you so young me too!

perhaps it’s as well we can’t see what’s around the corner

Look at me was getting real excited about seeing Hugh Jackman on tour in Glasgow next wed

Funny how I felt like a traitor for having the moments of joy the same as when I came to London then Leeds to see you

Boy have I been lucky

So why I feel such sadness tonight is hard to explain

Am not a greedy person and don’t deserve more luck then anybody else but there is a dark cloud I can’t shake off

I would love to find some peace and a sleep that makes everything look better tomorrow

You have brought joy into so many lives

I wish you knew xxx

goodnight god bless xxx

Notre Dam ( burned butterfly ) tribute

Thus this restless little butterfly of the memory
has its wings burned now and cannot fly.

But once again will raise her wings and grace the morning sky

Will shed no more tears

The lady who gave comfort. Joy shelter for the lonely and help to those who were rich and those who were poor

Your wings will once again grace the sky as you spread them wide and graceful and once more you will soar

Au Revoir but not goodbye

Must send much love and thanks to my dear daughter and to my Dr Legg who gave her permission to allow her to arrange transport and thus purchase tickets to see Hugh Jackman in Glasgow Arena in May

Also to the Arena staff who helped her with arranging a seated area for those with disability

Now just down to me to try and get some strength and motivation going

I owe the NHS so much they take so much flack but I can only say as I find they have been so kind and generous with their time and patience

Helping and pushing me on when I could give in and just want to lie down and die

Thank you from my heart

As always can’t wait to have my copy of UrBan DVD seems a long time coming but as of yesterday still due to arrive May 23

I love that Richards doing so well and he really is spreading his wings with various projects

We wait with anticipation

Just occurred to me how lucky to have the treat of two great lovely people who both share such wonderful smiles

We all need more smiles xxxx

Me + Richard Armitage

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